Through all the good and bad times
by LPlover101
Summary: This takes place at 3x21 naley rehearsal dinner. Peyton did went to savannah but not to get back with Jake but for help with a revalation shes just been dealing with.
1. Chapter 1

**Through all the good and bad times**

Hi there. My name is Judith and I´m from Germany so I´m not a native speaker. I hope my english is enough for you to enjoy this story even though I´m pretty sure I won´t be able to write as fascinating as other writers. I just had this idea in my head that had to get out and to be honest here in Germany there aren´t many people who would read a One Tree Hill fanfic. But I really want this story to be read by someone so I thought I would give it a try in english.

Every review is very welcome and if you have an idea how it would sound better I would appreciate every critique.

This is set at the end of season 3 and begins at 3x21.

This concentrates on Leyton but has every friendship I could think of.

**Summary: Peyton went to Savannah searching comfort from Jake. But what if she didn´t went for love but for support, because she just found out that not everything is okay with her.**

**Her Savannah Trip will be explained in flashbacks.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY BELONG TO ITS RESPECTIVE OWNERS MARK SWAHN AND THE CW!**

If you have any other questions or something isn´t clear feel free to ask.

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Chapter 1

Peyton was setting up her "bed scene" on the stage at Naleys rehearsal dinner when Brooke approached her, followed by Lucas.

"Okay , last scene of the night. Are we good"? The cheery brunette asked her best friend. The not anymore curly haired blonde girl turned around to face her and answered a little bit stressed "Actually, no. Mouth is sick, too."

"What? But we need him for this scene" Out of nowhere she continued "I mean, Luke, you could do it." Lucas just gave her a look that said not again so Peyton tried to reason "Maybe we should just cut the night short" That did not sit right with Brooke. No one could convince her to let go of what she thought was her great finale for the evening. "No we can´t this is the big finale" And then she turned to her boyfriend with pleading eyes and said "Please Lucas?" while she was about to hand him an ugly looking brown haired wig.

It was pretty clear that he couldn´t say no to his Cheery. So he did what would make her happy and replied "Okay. But no wig." And like B. knew he would cave she was back to happy mode "Deal. Those are your lines. I can buy you guys a couple of minutes. Just ad lip if you get in trouble, okay" Lucas just shook his head smiling as Brooke left for the stage. Peyton didn´t really look happy with the modifications that just took place but of course the bubbly Cheerleader dind´t recognize that. Without facing Lucas Peyton found her voice again even if it sounded a little bit uncomfortable "You do know what scene this is, right?"

"No, why?" She gave a short look in his direction while he read the scene and then he realised what she meant. "Ohh." Was all he could say.

Then they heard Brooke announcing them. On stage Brooke began:

Before we end the night I just wanted to say a few words about Naley. I told them once to be happy because someday they´d make us all believe in true love. And they do. In a few days, they´re gonna renew that love for all of us to see. But in a way we see it every day.

So now we will give you the final scene of our night. One rainy day, Nathan Scott proposed to Haley James and the rest is a fairy tale.

In the first row Nathan and Haley just smiled. They looked really happy with what this night turned out to be.

Brooke left the stage and the curtain opened to 2 brooding Blondes laying in a bed as Nathan and Haley.

"Golly gee, that was some good loving, Haley." Luke startet. "Oh yes, yes it "

"So what are you thinking?" He said facing the girl next to him. "Oh, I was just thinking how I never…" she began but then suddenly stopped. Brooke looked a little freaked out and tried to whisper the right lines to her friend. "I was just thinking how I never wanna go home again" she whispered.

Peyton seemed like she drifted of in her own world. Thoughts of the last weekend came rushing to her mind.

FLASHBACK:

_Peyton, Jake and Jenny came home into Jakes house after a day of sightseeing Savannah. While Jake went to get Jenny in bed Peyton sat on the couch. When the boy who she tought had held her heart one time in her life came back he saw the sadness in her eyes. He sat down next to her and laid his hand on her knee to comfort her. "Everything alright Peyton?" he asked carefully._

_At this moment she snapped out of her thoughts "No Jake. It´s really not." He hadn´t expected this kind of straight response so his head snapped up and his deep brown eyes looked directly into her green ones, trying to see where this conversation was going._

PRESENT DAY:

Luke was trying to get Peytons attention to save the scene. His deep blue eyes searched for some kind of reaction from his friend. Then she remembered what she was doing.

"Well I was just thinking how I never wanna go home again she started over." He was glad she was back on track again so he continued.

"I Love you, you know that? " It was like everything he said was like a trigger because again she drifted of to her conversation with Jake.

FLASHBACK:

_"You know that I love you Peyton right? You can tell me everything!"_

_Her former boyfriend turned to face her again._

_It felt so good to be loved again but she felt like she had to clear things right away._

_"You know Jake, I love you too. Bit I´m not here for love because right now I´m not sure where my heart lies. I´m here because something really big happened to me and I don´t know if I can tell Brooke about it without both of us falling apart and I don´t think I can tell Nathan or Haley because they would probably confess to Lucas and I really don´t think I could handle telling them without speaking about it with someone other than them first. Someone I feel comfortable around and a person I can trust._

_Jake I don´t know what I want to happen after I tell you, I just know that you are that someone for me. The one who I think can help keeping me together. You see this is really big. Can I trust you with this?" she asked now with tears in here eyes._

_NOW Jake was really scared what it would be but he gave her a look that told her she can trust him with everything, so she continued:_

_"Well before I even thought about coming here I went to the doctor for a check up. He wanted to run all kinds of tests because I told him that I was feeling nauseaus all week and I´ve been experiencing some pain in my stomach"_

_"Wait a minute" the brown haired boy spoke up "Are you telling me you´re pregnant?"_

Present day:

Luke didn´t really know what to do this time around so he started again "I love you, you know that?" She looked up again finally able to control herself again and looked him straight in his unbelievable beautiful eyes. And that´s when it hit her. All the moments she and Lucas shared

Crossed her mind and all of a sudden she knew her next line wasn´t just an act. She never got over him, she still loved him. He was her saviour always. And so she got back to her role, even though she didn´t have to act on that one and replied with tears in her eyes and so much emotion in her broken voice "I love you, too." Brooke looked to the stage. You could see the confusion in her eyes because right now she really wasn´t sure if her meant that last sentence or if she was a really goo actress. Just the everything went black for the girl on stage and Peyton collapsed out of nowhere.

So this was my first chapter for a story ever. I´d really like to know what you think. Shall I continue?


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Hey guys thank you so much for your reviews. I´m really happy and surprised. I hope this chapter will please you. annie you will find out if this is that kind of story in this chappi. This storyline has definetly been done before I just hope I can do it differently in another context. ****lalez schön zu wissen dass es noch mehr Deutsche gibt die sich für OTH und fanfictions interessieren. Ich liebe deine Storys im übrigen :)**

**I may not be able to uptade this weekend since I´m having an exam on Monday and I have to study for it, but I´m gonna try to update as fast as possible. **

Chapter 2

Peyt lied in the bed on the stage unconscious.

No one except for Brooke and Lucas recognized something was wrong because they all thought drifting of to sleep belonged to their scene.

Lucas looked down to Peyton with panic "Somebody call 911" he screamed. Now everybody knew what happened. Nathan and Haley jumped of their seats and ran to the two blondes. Brooke was suddenly terrified, all her thoughts about Peytons possible feelings towards her boyfriend were gone and left was only the fear of loosing her best friend.

She reached her cell and dialled 911.

"Hello? Were at TRIC and my friend just passed out. She is not conscious right now. Her name is Peyton Sawyer. Please hurry." She screamed into her phone.

There was a small pause then she looked to Luke and asked "Luke does she have a pulse"

The blonde boy was not able to move. He was paralyzed by the thought of loosing his friend. Brooke looked to Nathan and then Haley who were also to shocked to realize what is going an. Than she looked to her boyfriend. She saw the fear in his eyes and that's all she needed to switch into "saving Peyton mode". She nearly ran over to the bed and tried to feel Peyton's pulse. Than she got back to her cell "She has a pulse but it´s barely there. Please help us."

After another silence Brooke shut her phone and began "They are on their way. They said they would be here in 5 minutes. Nathan, Haley could you please go outside and wait for them?"

The soon to be married again couple just nodded and left. They were still not able to believe what was happening at this evening, which was supposed to be one of the best in their lives.

Brooke sat down next to Peyton and took her hands. "Come on . Wake up please. I swear I´m going to disown you if you don´t come back to us!"

Lucas seemed to be able to get what was going on now. He took the other hand of the unconscious girl and looked to his girlfriend. "It´s gonna be okay Brooke. She has Pulse and help is on is way. Everything is gonna work out." He didn´t know if he was trying to convince Brooke or himself. The truth was he was terrified. All he could think about was Peyton. He could not loose her. She was not just his friend. She was so much more than that. He knew it he just couldn´t admit it to himself, until now. Loosing her was not an option. He promised to himself not to hide his heart anymore. When this was over and everything was going to be alright he would figure out what his heart really wants and fight for it, because in this moment he was not sure where his heart lied. But right now he had to concentrate on the situation and Brooke freaking out wouldn´t help at all. She saw she was about to freak so he tried to calm her again "Brooke stay calm. Everything will be okay."

That's when she snapped. "Ok? OK? Luke my best friend just passed out and doesn´t wake up. She barely has a pulse and she barely breathes. So tell me again how is that OK???"

He should have known that nothing could bring her down so he just stayed quiet this time.

Before he could think about what to do next the paramedics came rushing followed by Nathan and Haley. Lucas looked up to his brother and best friend. They looked just as terrified as him and Brooke. They all were afraid to loose their friend.

The paramedics took Peyton to the ambulance. They hooked her on an oxygen resuscitation apparatus, cause they saw she wasn´t getting enough air. Brooke never left her side. Brooke rode with the ambulance while the others got into Lucas car and went to the hospital. They arrived, Brooke was waiting for them at the reception. "She´s with a doctor now. He is doing some tests to figure out whats wrong. All we can do is wait. The Doc said he´d come here after she woke, but he can´t tell us anything without a legal guardian." At this moment Karen came running to them. "What happended?" she asked. Brooke was the one who answered first. She was about to break down again but she was able to answer "I really don´t know Karen. She just passed out, out of nowhere. And I really don´t know what´s happening right now. They can´t tell us anything without Larry." And then she began to cry and Karen opened her arms and pulled her into a close hug. "I got that one covered. After Lucas called me I called Larry and he said he would call here to tell them they can give us the information."

Brooke looked up. She seemed relieved that she would at least know soon what`s going to happen.

Meanwhile:

Peyton was still unconscious but she was breathing alone again. It was like she was in a very deep sleep.

She wasn´t feeling any pain right now. But even not awake she was still thinking about what happened in Savannah.

**FLASHBACK**:

"_Well before I even thought about coming here I went to the doctor for a check up. He wanted to run all kinds of tests because I told him that I was feeling nauseaus all week and I´ve been experiencing some pain in my stomach"_

_  
"Wait a minute" the brown haired boy spoke up "Are you telling me you´re pregnant?"_

"_No Jake that´s not it. I wish it was because that´s something I could deal with." Pexton replied. _

_That´s when Jake got really scared. "Peyt, what is it?"_

"_She tried to look him in the eyes but she couldn´t. She didn´t want to see pity after what she said next._

"_I have stage II overian cancer Jake." That´s when she broke down. She leaned on his shoulder and allowed the tears to fall. "I have cancer and I really don´t know how to handle it" She cried "I am too young for this Jake. How is that fair? What have I done to the world Jake? How do I deserve 2 dead moms, an absente father, being shot at a school shooting and now cancer? What did I do wrong Jake? I´m not ready to die! I don´t want to die. And Brooke and Lucas and Nathan and Haley? How should I tell them? I don´t know how to tell them that I might not be there anymore to dance at a Brucas wedding. Or that I might not even gonna be able to graduate with them because I´ll be lying to metres under the ground. Hell I wan´t to see Jenny growing up. I want to see all their future children growing up. I want to be able to go to my prom next year. And I really really really want my happily ever after before I die! Oh my God Jake why me?"_

_Jake didn´t really know what to say right know. He pulled her closer into a hug and tried to overcome his shock. The he rubbed her back and said:_

_I don´t know Peyt. I really don´t know. But I´m gonna be there for you whenever you want me too. You´re gonna make it. You are young and the strongest person I know. If someone can beat this it You. You´re gonna make it."_

PRESENT DAY:

After that memory Peyton finally awoke. The nurse that was with her turned to look at her, when she saw the blonde girl waking up. "Welcome back Miss Sawyer. The Doctor will be here shortly to inform you what Is going on." "I know what´s going on "Peyton said simply.

"We´ll see about" she heard a masculine voice saying. The doctor just came through the door.

"I have cancer. Stage II overian cancer. I know about it since last week. I haven't been able to inform me about treatment yet. But that´s what you wanted to tell me right? That´s why I passed out right?"

"Yeah, that´s right. There are a bunch of people out there waiting for news on you. Do they know or shall I inform them?" the doctor asked. "No" Peyt said quickly. "I want to tell them, but not now. I´ll tell them when I´m ready. Please tell them I passed out from exhaustion. Can you do that" She asked with pleading eyes. He gave her a stern look but then decided that this was bad enough for her "Ok, but we have to discuss treatment immediately after you feel stronger." he just said and walked out the door, taking the nurse with him.

Now Peyton was all alone again not knowing what to do.

**So what do you think? Please press the green button and give a review.**


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Hey guys thanks again for your reviews. I can´t get enough of them. I hope you will be pleased with this chapter. I´m not exactly sure about this. I should probably study for Monday but I couldn't stay away from writing another chapter. ****Hope u like it. **

**Xoxo Judy**

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Chapter 3

Brooke looked up when she saw the doctor coming towards them.

"Well Ms. Sawyer is awake again. Her breakdown seemed to be caused by stress and exhaustion. We need to keep her at least for tonight to monitor her but tomorrow she should be free to leave." He told them shortly "You can visit her now. "

The group of friends didn´t need to hear that twice. Lucas felt like this took a load off his mind. They all stood up and walked over to Peytons room. Haley softly knocked on the door.

"Come on in" they heard Peyt say. They opened the door and walked in to see a very pale Peyton lying in bed. She looked tired and powerless, but she tried to smile even if it was a fake one. "You scared the crap out of me . Don´t you ever do that again!" Brooke said while hugging her friend. She didn´t see the guilty look on Peytons face. Then Lucas opened his arm and pulled her close whispering in her ear "I can´t loose you Peyt. I´m so glad you´re okay" The blonde girl didn´t really know what to make of that comment. She just realized her feelings for him before her break down, could he be feeling it too? _No_ she thought. _That´s not possible. He loves Brooke. _She allowed herself for a moment to enjoy him so near to hear and the feeling his body. Than Nate spoke up " Sawyer don´t you know how to take it easy? You should of told someone that this was too much for you. Please tell me next time when somethings wrong! Ok?" "Yeah he´s right Peyton. Be careful ok?" Haley said and then both Nathan and Haley pulled her into a group hug. Peyton couldn´t help but feel guilty. She wanted to finally tell them what was going on with her but she felt like it would break her and them. She thought about what Jake told her

FLASHBACK:

"_You´re gonna make it Peyt but you will need support from your friends. Not just me all of them. Listen I am able to get Nikki to let me and Jenny come to Tree Hill for awhile. We will come for the wedding__ and then stay with you at least for one or two months if I am able to convince my boss to let me go. But I think he will. He is a nice person. I can be with you when you tell them, or if you can´t do it I will tell them if you want me to. And then we are gonna help you decide how to beat this thing." Peyton was overwhelmed. If Jake was going to help her maybe she can do this and tell her buddies in Tree Hill. She was glad she came to him because he was always there for her, even if it was just an email. She trusted him and in some ways she did love him. She just knew that him being in Tree Hill would help her get through this because he was one of the most kind and loyal persons she knew._

"_Ok I will tell them when you´re there. Thank you Jake. I am so thankful that you are willing to do this for me." She said with tearful eyes. "It´s okay Peyt you I will be there for you no matter what!" He just said and then he let her cry on his shoulder._

PRESENT DAY:

A knock on the door brought her back to reality. "Yes come on in" Brooke replied for her. The door opened and a smile spread on Peytons face because she saw Jake coming in.

"Jake. You´re here. I thought you didn´t come until tomorrow. Who told you I am here."

"Hey Peyt. I drove a little bit earlier after Larry called me to tell me what happened. I´m glad you´re okay." He said, but in his mind he added _for now._He gave her a short hug and then looked up recognizing the crowed in the romm and said "Hey guys! Good to see you." "Yeah you too." He heard Naley and Brooke say but he saw Lucas face and immediately knew that not everybody was happy that he was here. He didn´t care for now. Peyton needed him and that´s all that mattered to him right now.

"Hey guys." Peyton spoke up. "I´m really tired. I´d like to go to sleep now. Could you pleae leave. I want to talk to Jake for a minute and then I´m gonna rest. I see you tomorrow."

Lucas wasn´t happy that she wanted to be alone with Jake. But he had no right to say anything about it so he just left saying goodnight like the others.

"Jake?" "Yeah?" Peyton had a sad look on her face "I´m going to tell them after the Naley wedding. But I wanna tell Brooke now. Can you please get her to come alone to me again? You know she is my best friend. She deserves to know."

He nodded and left the room to get Peyton what she wanted. He had a feeling that this would be happening often in the next couple of months.

Jake found Brooke at Peytons house. He had a feeling she would want to get a couple of things for her best friend. "Brooke?" "I´m in Peytons room" Jake walked upstairs and entered the room of the broody blonde cheerleader. Not much has changes since he last was there except there was a lot more music and a whole wall with shelves.

"Brooke Peyton wants to talk to you. She has something to tell you and she wants to do it alone. Can you come with me now? I´ll bring you to her." Jake said. Brooke seemed confused "What´s going on Jake?" She asked _Will she tell me about that scene? Will she tell me she loves my boyfriend? _"She will tell you Brooke, it´s not my place." Brooke accepted it and followed him into his car. The drive was silent. Brooke had a feeling that this could be worse than Peyton having feelings for Lucas. Jake seemed so sad and defeated she just had a feeling that this would be worse than what she first imagined.

After they arrived at the hospital Jake let Brooke out. "Please do me a favour okay? Try to stay calm when she tells you whats up. She needs you." Brooke nodded and left to the entrance while Jake drove back to Peytons where he would be staying. He wanted to rest a little bit, cause tomorrow Nikki would come and bring Jenny.

Meanwhile Brooke entered Peyton hospital room. "Hey P. What´s going on? Jake kinda scared me on the way here. Are you okay?" Brooke started. The bed was big enough for the both of them so she lied down next to her best friend and took her hand. "Peyton rested her head against Brookes shoulder. She took a deep breath. Then she started, her voice croaked "Brooke. You´re my best friend you know that? And I love you so much. I want you to never forget that! Ok?" Brooke nodded her head. She was about to freak. This was not good. She had a feeling when Peyton started like that a bomb was about to drop. But she remembered she told Jake she would try and stay calm so she waited what was coming next. "Brooke I´m gonna need you in the next couple of months. I will need all the help I can get but most of all I need you to stay with me and push me to do the right thing, because I think that I am about to face times where I don´t want to fight anymore and then I need you to push me into fighting!" Brooke was confused and scared. What was her talking about? "Brooke , I have stage II overian cancer. I don´t know what the chances are to beat this thing. But I´m gonna try as hard as I can." Then she started crying again. Brooke couldn't believe this, she was crying so hard and both of them tried to let everything out while it was just the two of them because that´s when it was the easiest for them to let their guards down. "I don´t want to die Brooke" Peyton cried "Why me? Why is it always me? What did I do to deserve all this? Why can´t I be happy? I just want my happily ever after Brooke I want it so bad. But I might never get it. Why me?" Brooke rubbed her back softly ". .Everything is gonna be okay. You will get your happily ever after. You can do this Peyt"she whispered into the blondes ear and gave her a kiss on the top of her head, then she continued"I love you. You're my best friend and I am gonna do everything I can to get you through this. We´re gonna get through this sweetheart because I can´t loose you. I´m not ready to let you go so you will beat this ok?" She was crying really hard right now, but she waited for Peyton to reply. When she heard nothing she repeated "You will beat this right?" Peyton didn´t really know if this was the truth but she wanted to believe it so she just said "Yeah I hope so. Thank you Brooke." "It´s ok buddy. I love you. It´s ok." And then the both best friends lay silently in the hospital bed, holding on to each other and cried the whole night.

**Just so you know. This will be a Leyton fic, I just thought that at this point Peyton would want Brooke to know before Lucas. Tell me what you think and please review:)**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: So before you read this chapter I wanted to say 2 things. First of all thank you for your reviews and thanks for the people who put this on story alert or to their favorites. I am really honored. Second of all I am not a doctor so please understand that I can not guarantee for the correctness of the medical parts in this story. I just hope it makes sense. So I hope you enjoy this chapter because again I am not so sure about it.**

**DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN ANYTHING! THE CHARACTERS IN THIS STORY BELONG TO ITS RESPECTIVE OWNERS MARK SWAHN AND THE CW!**

**The song belongs to Ollie Sloan and it´s called Friends are Family.**

Chapter 4

_There are words I've gotta say,  
There are things I've gotta make way for in my life  
There are things I've gotta change,_

I look outside and the grass is green  
My life is a mess but the air is clean  
Will somebody please, explain this to me

The next morning Brooke and Peyton woke up by the sound of the door opening. A nurse came in "Good morning Ms. Sawyer. You and your friend might wanna wake up because the doctor is on his way to speak to you." The woman said. Brooke stood up "Okay . Do you want me to stay while the doctor speaks to you? I mean I'd really like to hear what's in front of us. Is that okay with you?" "Of course it is Brooke. I would be glad if you stay here with me. "

_When you came along, my life turned upside down  
I was all alone till you pulled me up from the ground  
I lift my head, and you are smiling down at me  
I guess that's what friends are for,  
Coz friends are like, Family_

They heard a knock on the door ant the doctor came in."Hello Mrs. Sawyer. I wanted to talk to you. Is your friend staying?" The doctor asked not knowing if she told Brooke the truth. "She knows. This is my best friend Brooke Davis. She is staying with me for this." Peyton replied. "Ok. Ms. Sawyer. I wanted to talk to you about treatment. Before we can operate we have to do chemo and maybe even radiation. The metastases have to shrink before we can remove them and the cancer at your ovary. So it will be a very aggressive chemo and you will be very powerless at times. I heard that you are living alone with Ms. Davis." He turned to Brooke "Ms. Davis do you think you can handle her on your own? Ms. Sawyer will have to come to treatment at least twice a week. She will feel nauseas a lot and sometimes she might not be able to move herself because of the pain. She will need someone to care for her almost 24 hours a day at least for 1or 2 months while her body is trying to adjust the new situation. We could let her stay in the hospital but I have a feeling that she would feel better at her own home." "Brooke looked down to Peyton. She knew the doctor was right. Peyton hated hospitals. But she was also scared for her friend. It did seem like Peyton was very calm about this, but Brooke feared that that was just a façade. "I can handle her. Jake, a friend of us is going to stay with us at least for 1 or 2 months. He can help. And I am sure after we tell our other friends they are gonna help out a lot." The doctor nodded. I don't want to waste any more time and would like to start with chemo today. Is that ok?" Peyton thought about the wedding which is supposed to be happening in about 4 hours. "I´m sorry doctor. My friends are getting married today and I am supposed to be a bride's maid. I don´t think I would be able to be there if I would start before the wedding. Is it ok to start tomorrow?" "Ok Ms. Sawyer but you have to come back tomorrow before 9 am so we can prepare you. I am going to tell the nurse to bring you the papers so you can leave for the wedding. I will see you tomorrow." With that he turned round and walked out the door.

_And if you learn to trust your soul  
The pain will end and you'll be whole  
You'll find your way, you wont yearn for yesterday_

Coz I'll be there to wipe your tears  
Give you courage, and strike your fears  
Take my hand and you will see  
We're right where we need to be

"P. don't you think it would have been better to start today? Naley would have understood that this was more important." Brooke spoke up "No." Peyton said "I really wanted to go to their wedding. If I don't make it in the end at least I was there on one of their greatest days and they remember me by that. I want to go Brooke. I will tell them after the wedding ok? I will tell them tomorrow before I come here. But now I want to be normal just for today. Can you understand that?" Brooke hugged her "Of course I can buddy. But please take it easy. I am not leaving your side today. And can you please tell Lucas today? I would really like him to know so he can help us. I know Jake is there and everything but it's Lucas you know. I have a feeling that he may be able to save you, I mean us." Peyton nodded her head. She knew that she had to tell Lucas soon. He was her saviour and she wanted him to help her. She wanted him to hold her and tell her everything would be okay because he was the one person she might be able to believe. "I'm telling him today. I want you to drop me off at his place if that's ok with you. I don't want to ruin his day but I want to tell him before the wedding so he knows why we are like we are right now. Thanks again Brooke, for being my friend, for supporting me and for being there for me" she said and then she was crying again. She did that a lot of that these days. But what do you expect when you find out you have cancer right?

As the nurse came back with the papers Brooke packed Peytons things. Then they both left and drove over to the Roe household.

_When you came along, my life turned upside down  
I was all alone till you pulled me up from the ground  
I lift my head, and you are smiling down at me  
I guess that's what friends are for,  
Coz friends are like, Family_

As she reached Lucas very own door she got even more nervous. She really had no idea how he would handle this so shortly after loosing Keith and telling everybody about his own disease, his HCM. She hoped he could be strong for her so that he could pull her and Brooke through this with his strength. Finally she knocked the door in front of her.

"Come on in" she heard a voice say. She opened the door and stepped into his room. "Hey Lucas. Can I talk to you?" She asked. "Of course Peyt. I am glad you are back from the hospital. What can I do for you." By now Peyton really hated it to repeat her situation over and over, because every time she was breaking down again. Every single time she was scared to die. She was scared that the person she was telling would leave her, because let's face it People always leave. But she could not handle people leaving her in her situation. That's why she was so hesitant to tell everybody. She took a deep breath trying to gain enough strength and then started "Luke you know that this summer was really important to me right? I am so glad that we became so close over summer and I would never trade that for anything. You know that right?" She wasn't brave enough to look him in his eyes. "Yeah Pey me too. So what is it that you wanted to tell me?" Luke asked "I am sick Lucas." "You want me to drive you back to the hospital? Do you have the flu?" "No Luke. I am sick. I have cancer. Ovarian cancer stage II to be exact." Then she fell down to her knees and began crying hard again. Lucas, who couldn't really realize what has been going on instinctive kneeled down and pulled her close into his arms while softly caressing her cheek. She continued while crying "It's just I don't know Luke. You remember that day in the library when you asked me about a good day?" "Yeah I remember" he said softly. "I told you about that snow day with Brooke. You know what's so sad about that? That is one of very few good days I remember. These bad things always happen to me and I don't know why. I want to be happy Luke just for once be really happy and now? Now I don't even know if I am able to ever get married and have kids. Hell I don't even know if I will still be there to graduate with you guys or graduate at all. I just I don't think I'm going to make it through this Luke." That was the first time she admitted that she really didn't think she could make it. "All I can think about is how all this bad things happened to me and I am still here. So why should I be able to come through this again? I am thinking about all this lost chances for being happy. I just I can't do this anymore Luke! I can't" And then she wasn't able to form any more words because all the worries all her fear of dying came out for the first time since she found out and she was glad she was with Lucas right now, because she was sure he could heal her just by holding her and make her forget about everything even if it was just for a few moments. Now even Lucas realized what just happened. He wasn't able to form words yet. But in his thoughts there was just one thing he kept thinking _How can life be so cruel. Please God don't take her from me. Don't take her from me. We, I need her more than you. I Promise I am gonna make things right with her. Just please let her live _He helped her up und lifted her in his arms. Then he placed her on his bed and lied down next to her. She rested her head on his chest and he pulled her close and held her while she cried freely. After he was able to control his thoughts again he whispered with a hoarse voice "I am not going to loose you Goldilocks. I am not ready for that. I still have so much to tell you and there are so many things we still have to experience together. I know that you can do this and I am going to do everything in my power to help you. You have to believe me you are going to live and I am gonna be there every step of the way. But for now I am just going to hold you as long as you need me to okay!?" And so she did. He was the only one she could believe everything because she trusted him more than anyone in this world. Lucas looked down to the broken girl in his arms. After he recognized that she cried herself to sleep in his arms he was able to finally let the tears fall that were desperately waiting to come out since she told him. Little did he know that his brother, who wanted to go over the details of his wedding with his best man one last time, heard everything Peyton just said.

_I'm on the dark side of the moon,  
Taking your time please get here soon  
I miss your love and everything you do  
For me_

Nathan couldn't really handle the thought of loosing Peyton alone. Well he couldn't handle it at all but the thing is there was a person in his life that made everything bearable. He didn't want to disturb the moment the two blondes were having. He needed to hold his wife now and let her heal him after what he just found out. He got into his car and drove to their apartment. He rushed through the door and called for her "Hales?" "I am in the bedroom Nathan but you shouldn't see me before the wedding" he heard her voice say. He didn't really care right now so he opened the bedroom door and rushed in Haley's arms just letting the tears fall. Haley didn't know what was going on but she thought it was best to just let him cry for a moment and then he would tell her. So after a few minutes he managed to calm down a little and spoke up. "She has cancer Hales. Peyton might be dying. I just overheard her telling Lucas and she sounded so broken. Like she really didn't think she would make it. She has to make it Hales!" Haley couldn't really process what Nathan just told her. She held on to him tightly and whispered in his ear "It's ok Nathan. I'm here. I can't believe it. I really don't understand how this can be happening, especially for her. But there's one thing I know Nate. She has been through so much in her life, sometimes alone. But she is so strong, stronger than anyone I know and she has us, all of us. She is going to make it. If she can't make it than who can?" No one said anything after that they just held the other and cried together for awhile. After awhile they both released the other and they thought about today. Their second wedding didn't seem so important anymore. They decided to drive over to Lucas to talk about the situation and then decide what to do.

_When you came along, my life turned upside down  
I was all alone till you pulled me up from the ground  
I lift my head, and you are smiling down at me  
I guess that's what friends are for,  
Coz friends are like, Family_

When they arrived they opened Lucas door without hesitation and saw two crying blondes holding onto each other lying in Lucas bed. They both looked up. When Peyton saw the look in their eyes she knew that they knew. She didn't know how but she really didn't care right now. She was just glad that the most important people in her life were there for her. Then Brooke and Jake entered the room. They wanted to make sure Peyton was ok. She was blessed with the best family anyone can wish for, her friends and that's all she needed to get through this. Nathan, Haley, Brooke and Jake came over to her und Lucas and then they all pulled into a group hug trying to show her support for the blonde and trying to comfort her because right now the only thing that mattered was Peyton. And she was so thankful for that. Now she could start her fight for life because she knew for sure she had something to life for.

_When you came along, my life turned upside down  
I was all alone till you pulled me up from the ground  
I lift my head, and you are smiling down at me  
I guess that's what friends are for,  
Coz friends are like, Family_

**You know the drill:-)**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hey guys! First of all THX for your reviews i really enjoy them. Second of all:Sorry for the lack of updates but I had a bit of a struggle to write this chapter. I really didn´t know how to continue for days but today it hit me and I hope this is ok. I am not exactly sure about this because well It didn´t really write itself like the first 4 chapters. I would really like to hear what you think about it.**

CHAPTER 5

The second Naley wedding was the perfect event for Peyton to get her mind of her sickness for a short time. She insisted that it was important to her that the wedding happened so Nathan and Haley were glad that they could at least give her that. But they cancelled their honeymoon because they didn´t think they could enjoy it knowing what their blonde friend was going through.

The ceremony as well as the reception went with no interruptions and almost everything was perfect for the happy couple.

It was now the day of Peytons first treatment and she as well as Brooke were very nervous about it. Lucas stood in front of the Sawyer household waiting for them to come out. He promised to drive them to she hospital and stay with Brooke while Peyton is getting her first chemo. Jake had to take care of Jenny but he was going to be there when they came back. Nathan and Haley promised to come over tonightand they thought that they would all sleep over this evening and make a big movie night with all of Peyts favourite movies. They wanted to give Peyton their support. It was really hard to think about Peyton going through this. Lukas had no idea how she could handle this treatment. He never knew anyone going through that kind of sickness but he heard things. He just hoped that it wouldn´t be to hard for her. _She has to get through this _he thought _I just need her_.

Brooke was waiting for Peyton downstairs. "! Luke is waiting we have to hurry" she called for her friend. Peyton was sitting on her bed. She didn´t feel ready for this but she knew she had to get up. She was just dreading what was about to come. She heard Brooke calling for her so she stood up and went downstairs. She saw Brooke waiting for her and she couldn`t help but be a little bit scared. "Brooke? Can you please tell me that this isn´t going to be as bad as I think?" The brunette tried to crack a smile and pulled Peyton into a hug. "I wish I could hunny but I don´t know. But I am going to be there and Lucas too and we will do everything we can to make it better. I promise. And tonight we will all be here together and try to make you forget a little bit okay?" "Peyton nodded "Thanks B." Then the both of them got out the door and into Lucas car. And so they drove in silence.

After they arrived at the hospital Peyton went straight to the information. The nurse brought her into the room were she was going to get her first chemo while Brooke and Lucas stayed behind in the waiting room. They both sat down and Lucas took her hand in his. They were too lost in their own thoughts to carry a conversation so they sat in silence and waited.

Meanwhile the doctor told Peyton everything about the side effects she was most likely to obtain. She didn´t even process all he told her about vomiting, headache and tiredness, because she was to afraid to really listen. Then he told her to sit down in a chair and then he attached a drip to her arm. She felt a burning at the point where the drip was and she felt dizzy soon after. She felt tired and when she closed her eyes an a tear fell from her eyes. Everything was so surreal and Peyton couldn´t help herself so she let the tears fall.

In the waiting room Brooke and Lucas were still waiting, worrying about how their friend would take it. Lucas was thinking about talking to Brooke since the rehearsal but he didn´t think that this was the right time. _I can´t tell her now _he thought _She has enough to worry about. It´s her best friend in there. But I don´t know how long I can pretend. But I have to, I can´t do this to her now. Peyton wouldn´t be happy about it too. She is always afraid to loose Brooke and she needs her now. She needs all of us. _

Brooke also has her own worries _Should I talk to him about the reception? Or should I just wait till all of this is over? I don´t think I can hold this in any longer. Maybe I should just say it now. I mean we can not sit in silence the whole time till P. comes back. Okay this is going to be hard but it would be better for all of us to do it now. _She looked up now searching for his eyes and when she finally found them she began

"Lucas?" "Yeah?" "I think we need to talk." He doesn´t even know what she´s talking about but he has a feeling that it will be about the one thing he wanted to talk to her about. "You know Luke I saw you with her at the reception." "What do you mean Brooke?"

FLASHBACK:

_At Naleys reception the newly wed couple just had their first dance as husband and wife again and now the guests were joining them on the dance floor. Jake was dancing with Peyton while Brooke and Lucas danced right beside them. After tw__o slow songs Mouth who was the DJ for the evening decided to take a look into the records Peyton brought and have something faster playing. "Well Ladys and Gentlemen" he announced "How a bout a short break from this love fest. Have fun with NOFX. I think my friend Peyton will like this very much. It´s called That's me inside your head!" Peytons head shot up and her eyes searched for the other broody blonde. When she found Lucas eyes she knew he recognized it to. This was kinda their song. Well at least the title was the first words Lucas really spoke to her. No one else knew but it kinda felt good to hear this song. She hadn´t listened to it for some time now. Lucas came over to her while Jake excused himself to get a new drink and Brooke went to the bathroom "You know that´s our song right?" He asked as he approached her. "Well I didn´t know we actually had a song" she joked "But I believe if any song belongs to us it´s this one" she smiled. Well and then they both began to rock. It was a very short song and Peyton looked in Mouth´s direction and mouthed a thank you. Then another song started. It was "My invitation" by Sara Slean and suddenly Peyton felt uncomfortable cause she didn´t know if she should be doing this slow dancing thing with him. He made the decision for her when he pulled her closer and put his arm around her waiste while his other arm hold her hand. And then they started dancing without saying anything but enjoying every moment of it. _

You are what they call the human season  
You are all the alphabet in one  
You are every colour of confusion  
You are all the silence I've become

_He couldn´t look her in the eyes right now, because he was afraid he would loose control when he did. She rested her head over his chest and the both closed her eyes.__ Peyton felt so at peace in that moment she couldn´t even describe it. "You are so beautiful tonight Peyt" Lucas whispered in her ear. "she blushed a bit an then replied "Thank You." "You still can´t take a compliment without blushing, can you?" he joked trying to lighten the mood. It was awkward for them to be near each other like that but at the same time it felt so right. Like it always should have been like that, like it was supposed to be them so close forever. _

Love me for  
Stupid reasons  
I like those most

Wide-eyed but  
Worth believing  
God knows

_Then his tone turned serious again "How come this feels so right?" he asked. Peyton knew what he meant but she wasn´t really ready to go there. "We´re friends Luke. What should be wrong about it__?" She answered. He knew that she was aware what he meant but instead of pushing the habit he just decided to enjoy this and not say anything._

Damn the angry voice that keeps us quiet  
The editor whose work is never done  
Keeping pretty words between my teeth and  
Sweet confessions underneath my tongue

_Then there was silence. But silence between them was never uncomfortable before. Peyton couldn´t hold it back so she put her head up and looked him in the eye. "Because it is Luke. That´s why it feels like that." she simply said and then rested her head back where it was before. He was kind of speechless after that, because he really didn´t expect her to reply at all. But he was happy she did, because that meant maybe it was still hope for them after all of this is over. He kinda figured where is heart really lied in that moment._

Drowsy contemplation  
Do I let you in  
This is my invitation  
But how do I begin?

_Meanwhile Brooke came back from the bathroom. She was looking for Lucas when she finally spotted the two blondes closely dancing on the dancefloor. They looked like a couple together. Happy and content but tortured at the same time. They looked at peace together dancing so close, but the moment the__y pulled apart when Peyton started to say something they were like two people so close but so far apart. It just hit her then, that these two were destined to be together and the both of them seemed to not even know it, because she was standing in the way. Brooke decided then and there that she would not do that anymore. She wanted both of them to get a chance to be happy, even if it was her own heart that was breaking for that. She would be okay, she figured, she would be okay as long as Peyton was happy and Lucas too._

She has such an awful lot of soldiers  
Quite a lovely army all her own  
Night and day they stand before the fortress  
Very safe but very all alone

_The song then ended and Peyton pulled apart again "Thank you Lucas." She just said "I´m going to get me a drink and start looking for Jake again." And then she turned around and walk a way. There were so many things he wanted to say but he couldn´t. Not now. But someday. That´s what he promised himself. Someday he is going to say all the right thing to her. _

PRESENT DAY:

"I saw you two dancing Luke." Brooke said. He looked a little confused but she continued "I saw the two of you together and it kinda hit me hard when I realised that the two of you are so in love with each other. I don´t know if the both of you even realize it yourself but what I saw that day, was that you two were meant to be together. And I´m okay with that Luke. I just like to see you happy, the both of you, because you deserve it. Peyton sure as hell deserves it actually. And I am gonna be okay. I love you Lucas. And I know you love me too. You´re just not in love with me. And that´s okay because the person you´re in love with is the one person I would do everything for. But please promise me to get things right with her ok? I know it may not be tomorrow or the day after but promise me you will make things work and make her happy in time." Lucas was speechless. He was so thankful in that moment and he couldn`t believe how selfless and graceful Brooke was in that moment. "I promise Brooke. And I want you to know that I really do love you. But thank you for doing this for me and for Peyton because within this one dance I realised it too. Are you sure you gonna be okay. I really didn´t want to hurt you and I would be very sad if you would pull away from us now especially Peyton" He was cut off by her "No Luke, don´t worry I am not gonna pull away. My needs me now. And she is my best friend. I need her too. Everything is gonna be alright at least I hope so." She said while looking in the direction of where Peyton should be coming back from her treatment soon. "I hope so too Brooke." Is all he had to say after that. And then their was silence again and waiting for Peyton Sawyer to be back with them, cause that is where she belonged.


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: Hey guys I am so so sorry for the long wait. I just had so much to do with work and university and moving. And after that I had a big writers block. I am not sure I am hapy with this chapter but I thought I would let you be the judge of that :) ****Thanks again for all the reviews and story alerts. I really appreciate them. **

Chapter 6

After her first chemo Peyton was shocked what kind of impact this had after only her first round. She had a feeling it would get worse with every round. Right now she felt dizzy and nauseaus all the time she couldn´t even stand up by herself. The nurse saw that and helped her sit down again, then she went to get a wheelchair for her. When she came back she helped her into it and then walked her to her friends. Brooke and Lucas where kinda shocked to see what effects this treatment had on Peyton. They knew she wouldn´t feel good after it but they had no idea how fast the side effects were. They just hoped that the main effect worked just as fast so Peyton would be able to recover. They both tried to be so obvious about their shock.

Then they took Peyton home.

At the Sawyer household Jake was awaiting them. It was late afternoon and he just came back from the grocery store with Jenny. He thought it would be nice to have a home cooked meal instead of just take out so he bought everything he needed to make his specialty for all of them – Lasagna.

When he heard the door open he took Jenny onto his arm and rushed toward the corridor to see if he can help somehow. When he saw Peyton he was really surprised to see her in a wheelchair. She looked like she had no strength left and could sleep right there. _Hopefully she will be able to enjoy our movie night anyway_ he thought _I just hope it gets her to forget about all just for one evening. _Seeing her this way made him doubt it.

Peyton felt it coming. She took Brookes hand "Brooke, I think I have to puke could you please get me to the bathroom?" She felt very uncomfortable and helpless right now. She hated it to not do things by herself and it was very embarrassing for her to admit it in front of the boys that she felt so sick. She wanted to be strong and independent but she had a feeling that she wouldn´t be able to just do that. While Brooke pushed the wheelchair to the bathroom Peyton couldn´t help but think that something was off with her and Lucas. They hadn´t talked nor touched each other the whole day and Peyton couldn´t help but wonder what that was about. In a way she tried to distract herself from feeling sick with this kind of thought.

Hours later Peyton finally felt she had nothing left in her to get sick again. "Brooke, can you take me to the living room? I think I puked enough for today." It was very upsetting to see Peyton so lost and broken and hurt all the same. _She doesn´t deserve this. I never thought it would be like this with her spending hours in the bathroom just after her first day. It´s not fair _Brooke thought. "Of course." She simply responded and Peyton couldn´t help but feel ashamed for being so helpless. Of course after years of friendship and being more like sisters than best friends Brooke didn´t miss that.

"P. Sawyer you have nothing to be ashamed of. I love you and I am so so proud of you. You know your strength is inspiring right!? I don´t know if I would be able to fight like you do. I love you and Lucas, Jake and Haley and Nathan and all the others do too. We are proud of you and we gonna be there for you every step of the way. So don´t you dare to feel ashamed."

And then Brooke looked at Peyton and saw her first genuine smile in a long time. "I love you too Brooke. Thank you for always saying the right things just when I need to hear them."

"No Problem goldilocks. Now lets get downstairs I think I can smell Jakes Lasagna and the others gonna arrive soon." And so they enjoyed the evening together trying to make Peyton forget all the pain.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

The next morning Peyton felt a lot better and she craved to be on her own just for a couple of minutes. She was up before everybody else so she decided to leave a note and go over to the café. She could be alone for a couple of minutes and clear her head on the way. It just dawned her this morning that she hadn´t told Karen and she knew Lucas hadn´t because he wanted to give her the time to tell her on her own. Today she would do it. It was time to tell her why her son seemed so distracted for the last week.

When she arrived at the café it didn´t even take one minute for Karen to see her and approach her. "Peyton Honey it is so good to see you. Didn´t you have a big movie night sleep over? Where are the others?" The older Woman greeted the blonde. "Hi Karen, It´s good to see you too. Yeah the others are still sleeping and I just wanted a little alone time. I also wanted to talk to you. How are you doing with everything?"

"Well I am good considering. But I am also very happy. I am pregnant I just told Lucas after the reception but I didn`t tell anybody else yet. You know I still miss him every single second of every single day" Karen spoke now with teary eyes "but at least now I have a part of him with me to remind me everyday of the love we shared. I think you understand my loss better than anybody. Are you okay honey?" She had notices the pale face and Peyton did seem kind of broken like she had the weight of the world on her shoulder. She really loved Brooke but she had always hoped that Peyton would become her daughter in law. There was a special bond between her son and the young girl in front of her and Karen always felt like Peyton and her had one too. She was almost like a daughter to her even though they didn´t know each other very long. And now that she took a closer look she was really worried. "You kind of look pale Honey. Has this something to do with the reason you wanted to talk to me?"

Peyton knew now there was no going back.

"Karen I have to tell you something. There is a reason why everybody came over yesterday."

Normally that statement wouldn`t worry Karen but Peytons voice sounded like she was about to break down. And she was. Everytime she told someone she broke down again. It was just so hard. When she told her father she thought her world came crashing down and now telling Karen was that all over again. She was like a third mother and Peyton was sure Karen kinda felt the same for her.

"Karen yesterday I was in the hospital for a treatment of chemo because I have a very bad cancer." She saw the horrified look on Karens face but she continued without missing a beat.

"I have known since short before the second Naley wedding and the others know too. I just thought it was time now to tell you because you are the only mother figure I have right now and I really didn´t want to worry you so soon after everything but I just I need everyone to know and to support me so I am not allowed to give up. You know? Because I really don´t want to stop fighting but I also don´t know how much more I can take after yesterday." She was crying, again and she was aware that it would come to that because she herself could not understand why this was happening to her.

Karen just pulled her close and let her cry on her shoulder her mind racing.

_Oh my god. Why her? Why out of all those people in the world did it have to be Peyton. What has she done to deserve all these horrible things happen to her? Two dead mothers, an absentee father people leaving her alone and being shot. And now cancer?_

She really felt bad for Peyton and everybody around her because she knew they would be broken too. It was not fair and it was horrible for her to even think about Peyton not being there because she was like the glue that put her group of friends together and she was Lucas first (and probably only real) love and she was like her daughter that she loved very much.

She instantly knew that Peyton would not be alone in that big house anymore. She also knew that neither Brooke nor Jake even together couldn´t handle this situation alone. Hell they were all teenagers still and Jake had Jenny to think about. So she decided in an instant that she and Lucas would move in with her too. The Sawyer house was way bigger than Karens and she knew Brooke wouldn´t leave Peyton alone now. So when Peyt stopped crying Karen spoke up.

"Honey I am so so sorry. I cannot believe that this is happening. But you are right. You´re gonna need everyone helping you so Lucas and I are gonna move in with you. And before you even think of saying no I am gonna have to tell you that there is no way I am gonna let Jake and Brooke take care of you alone. Yesterday was just the beginning honey. It is about to get worse with every treatment and I know that sounds harsh but you have to understand that I can not stay in my house and or sleep at night without knowing that there is at least one adult there to take care of you. And I believe I am right when I think that your dad can not make until at least another month right?"

Peyton knew she didn´t even have a chance. " Yeah Karen he can´t come for at least 3 month and by then I should have the results of treatment back. So he probably won´t need to come if I make it." Karen saw that it was making Peyton very sad that her own father couldn´t come to help her but she also knew that Peyton was the most understanding daughter in the world when it comes to her father. "It´s gonna be okay Honey. I am here. I am going to get you through this. I love you honey" " I love you too Karen" And so she hold on to the woman that she looked at like family for dear life and together they held each other to make the other better

After another hour Karen decided to take action. She saw that the blonde was exhausted so she let her waitress take over and brought her back home. Ove at the house the others were worried sick about Peyton but they knew she was at the Café and probably talking to Karen so they wanted to give her some space. When they heard the front door Lucas and Brooke jped on their feed and hurried to the door. "Peyton is everything ok?" they both aksed in unison. "Hey Brooke, Hello son."Karen answered instead. I think t was a little bit much for her today and she needs some rest."Lucas instantly took the girl from her and Brooke got her wheelchair so it would be easier to get her around the house. Luke was relieved that his mom finally knew. "Lucas you have to come home with me. We are going to pack our bags and move in. I can´tlet you all take care of her alone she needs me as much as she needs you and when something happens there are enough people around to help. Brooke?" she called out "Yeah" "Can you prepare Larrys room for me and a room for Lucas?" "Of course Lucas can stay in the guestroom. Jake is staying in the other one and I stay with her. Is that ok?"

"It´s perfect honey thank you"

Hours later everyone was settled and the move was finished. And so they would all be together for as long as Peyton needed them.

**So what do you think? Press the button and let me know. Xoxo **


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